Obsess Much?

We are getting into the window of opportunity on our first month of trying - to think that conception could happen any day now is making me crazier than usual.

I'm watching the calendar, wandering to Expecting Clubs and wanting to get that positive pregnancy test so much.  I feel like it should happen this month, because it's happened the first try every other time, but I also know we were so very fortunate for that.  I know it's not always that easy, but it has been in our experience.

Ken's asking me every day if I "feel anything going on".  LOL.  I try and keep him in the dark as much as possible (no pun intended), because I don't want our time together to be a mission.  I don't want it to feel different.  He's anxious, though.  I think that's fun.  :-)

On the flip side, I'm also focusing on health and fitness.  I got my bodybugg for Christmas and I'm loving the new fitness gadget!  I'm aiming to lose mucho weight, so each month that I don't conceive at least puts me 5 - 10 pounds closer to being a healthier weight.  So, there's that.  I'm completely off caffeine and alcohol, taking prenatals, and working out within recommended limits, so that it will be a seamless transition from TTC to pregnancy.

I am two weeks away from even possibly testing, so it will be an exercise in patience, which we all know I lack.  ;-)  That's why we exercise patience, though, right?  To get better and stronger.  We've enjoyed talking about adding to our family, planning for it - we told the kids last week about our plans.  There were mixed reactions there.  Bren was pretty much shocked and kept asking why we wanted ANOTHER.  He feels like everything's good now, I think, and doesn't know why we'd want it to change.  El was very excited about another baby and wants to sleep with "him".  LOL.  So, we'll enjoy this time of looking forward to becoming a family of six, without the morning sickness and while my waistline is decreasing instead of expanding...  ;-)

Ode to Caffeine

Prior to the last two pregnancies that were planned (d'oh!), I went off caffeine completely (and on prenatals) before we started TTC.  I'm doing this again this time - the largest part of this is so that I can rid my body of caffeine, which is a pregnancy no no, gradually and not shock my poor system.  The second part is so that I feel I'm "doing something" to help get the ball rolling on having another baby.

Unfortunately, since getting back on the juice after weaning Jule, I've developed quite a liking for caffeine in all shapes and forms, and I'm having a very hard time giving up my vice.  To bid a fair farewell to my much missed companion, I've written a fitting poem...

Ode to Caffeine


You are my friend, my drug of norm
you help me face my day
always there, in many a form
At home or far away.

The little baby can’t partake
For now we must part days
the little baby you may break.
with your naughty stimulant ways

A headache I’m sure I’ll suffer
as we say farewell
not having you will make me tougher.
though I’m sure it will be Hell.

I’ll miss you in the days ahead
when pregnancy exhaustion is here
I’ll feel so tired, like the living dead
Abandoned by you, I fear.

Until we meet again, take care
I’ll be counting day by day
Once the baby’s not so fair
I’ll have you here to stay

*sniff, sniff* I’ll miss you, C.

Genesis

I’m inviting you into my life, and into my bedroom. Well, sort of. Ken and I have decided to add to our family and give Bren, El, and Jule a brother or sister - God willing. I say “God willing” because Ken and I are well aware that we are so very, very blessed to have three healthy children. We accept that immense and overwhelming responsibility earnestly and never a day goes by that we take it for granted. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that my thoughts are loud and relentless and I have a tendency to ruminate (ok, obsess). This time, I’m bringing you along for the roller coaster ride from trying to conceive through birth and beyond. Save for a few intimate details, you will be privy to the entire goings on throughout our house and throughout our journey. Who knows what will happen?

While I know those in our inner circle will appreciate the sentiment, I also hope to reach out to all the obsessive folks who are in any stage of parenting whatsoever – trying to conceive (the dreaded two week wait, buying pregnancy tests in bulk – you know who you are!), or trying to cope with a teenager (one moment a child, one moment a man, he’s Teenzilla!). Chances are, I’ve been there, done that, and can offer some insight. And frankly, I can use all the help I can get, so I’ll be reaching out to all of you wise parents for advice and moral support.

For those who don’t know my family’s background, I’ll give you the short version so you know all the players. We’ll all get to know each other more as time goes on. Ken and I both work full-time in the IT industry, where we met at work ten years ago. We’ve been married since Fall of 2002. I have a son, Ken’s bonus son, who just turned fourteen. Yikes. Ken and I have two daughters together – Elizabeth, who is 5, and Juleana who just celebrated her first birthday. We treasured our “July Baby” for five short weeks in November of 2007, until I miscarried at 9 weeks. I am entering this new adventure of trying to get pregnant a fifth time with an open mind and an open heart, a sense of adventure and a sense of humor. I am relaxed and ready to enjoy every moment. I hope you are too.

As far as babies, I have experience in a lot of different areas, and would like to use this blog to share that experience and as an opportunity to hear new ideas throughout what will [probably] be my last pregnancy. ;-)

Please stop by often, and post comments regularly so I know I’m not talking to myself.

XO
Dawn